Lost and Found

The kids and I have had to come to terms with a lot of loss over the past few years. We lost Rebel and Weasle and Wolfie and TiggerTom and Sadie and Orca and Special and Lil Bit.

I'm probably going to have to sell SkyHigh (the remaining horse) soon.

This weekend, I thought we'd lost Finnegan. Doug was putting him into the backyard for some outside time, and the dog wriggled loose and took off. We tromped through the neighborhood, following tracks and passing out fliers forever yesterday. And then we drove around some more. We hung posters at gas stations and grocery stores and pet stores. Doug posted ads on craigslist and KCPetfinder.com and I posted an ad on Petfinder and w/the local dog shelter.

I'd pretty much decided that he wasn't coming home and I was trying to not blame Doug - because it's not really his fault the dog is an idiot - and trying to figure out how to explain to the kids that they'd lost yet another loved pet.

This morning... we got a phone call from someone who'd seen Doug's ad on KC Pet Connect. This lady has had Finnegan since Friday night (which is when he disappeared). He's been fed and warm and dry in her garage while she tried to find out who owned him.

So he's home. And I am SO glad to have him back. I know that lots of people don't have any idea how much my pets mean to me ... and I'm ok with that. I'm not gonna treat them like slightly dim humans in order to prove that I love them. But I am SO happy that my dumbass dog is sitting on the deck right now. So happy.

And I'm very glad that it was Doug's ad that brought him back.

Blessings counted...

Sometimes, it seems that my blog is one big series of unfortunate events. And my resolution this year is to make it not so much THAT, but just a 'keep up with the jones girl' kind of thing. Because honestly... good stuff happens now and then. So how come we only blog about the BIG things?

Little things... I'm NOT going to let the Alan Jackson song get stuck in my head... I swear... but those little things that are so often overlooked? They're the ones that matter. Yes, it's corny. But dammit, it's also true.

I have the BEST family. I really do. Back when I was a kid? All of my friends called my Mom 'mom'. Some of them STILL call her just to talk, and she still worries about them as if they were her own.

My parents lost power during the big ice storm... almost 20K people in their lil town lost power. And man, it sounded like HELL to me. Trapped. Inside. W/no power AT. ALL. Bleh. So I called them yesterday and asked them how they were doing, and my stepdad said he was having a great time. Reading by lantern light and there was a pot of soup on the woodburner that was making the house smell good. And, earlier in the day, him and my mom had sat on the dining room floor and played jacks by candle light.

Crazy, eh? But awesome too.

Of course, my kids are wonderful. Nearly goes w/out saying. They'll be with me this weekend after 5 days w/their dad. The transition back is always a bit difficult, but my incredible boyfriend and I are going to try to make it less so this week and in the weeks to come. Those poor kids probably feel like they don't really LIVE anywhere lately... couple days at my apartment, couple of days at their dad's house, couple of days at D'man's house... they're gypsies and I wonder why they sometimes ACT like it.

And that boyfriend. He really is the most wonderful man I know. I lurve him, I really do.

Things really could be oh so much worse in my life. Someone whack me when I forget, ok?

The Land of Blahs...

I am NOT in the holiday spirit. Not. At. All.

Oh sure, most of my Xmas shopping is done, I'm making plans... I'm even looking forward to decorating the apartment and Doug's house. But I'm not feeling it.

I talked to Mom tonight and she's not feeling it either. I asked her if she'd bought the turkeys for TGiving and Xmas yet and she seemed surprised. She hadn't even thought about it. She's done no shopping at all.

So... we're going to fake it til we feel it, I suppose. I drug the box o Xmas crap outta the boogey man hole tonight and started going through it. Maybe getting some of it arranged will help a bit.

And speaking of the boogeyman hole... get this.

I decided to get out the Winter clothes for the kids this past week. I sorted and straightened and made a pile for the babysitter's kid of stuff that Cady had outgrown and a pile for Cady of stuff that was either hers last year and still fits or that Madison had outgrown (and let me tell you... Madison has outgrown EVERYTHING).

I made a big ol pile of jeans on the floor in the girls' room and told Cady she could choose 10 pr of jeans that she LOVES and keep them. The rest were going away.

An hour later, she'd narrowed her choices to the pants she can't live without.

For giggles, I had her count the ones that were going away. Guess.

Higher. Way higher.

Yeah... 32 PAIRS OF JEANS!

32 Pairs that she WASN'T keeping.

How the hell did that happen?

So yeah, away they go. Because it is, after all, almost Christmas. Which means more crap.

It's reverse bulimia of stuff. Must purge before the binge.

Those oh so dreadful song lyrics...

You know the ones... they're morally reprehensible and serve no purpose but to pollute young minds with thoughts of violence, greed, infidelity and irresponsibility.

I mean, for gawd's sake, check out THESE lyrics that my daughter brought home from school today... I know you know the song, but have you EVER paid attention to the actual words?


http://www.momsminivan.com/lyrics.html
In a cavern, in a canyon,
Excavating for a mine,
Lived a miner, forty-niner,
And his daughter Clementine.

CHORUS
Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever,
Oh my darling, Clementine.

Light she was, and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine,
Herring boxes without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine. [Chorus]

Drove she ducklings to the water
Every morning just at nine,
Hit her foot against a splinter,
Fell into the foaming brine. [Chorus]

Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles soft and fine,
But alas, I was no swimmer,
So I lost my Clementine. [Chorus]

In a churchyard near the canyon,
Where the myrtle doth entwine,
There grow roses and other posies,
Fertilized by Clementine. [Chorus]

Then, the miner, forty-niner,
Soon began to peak and pine,
Though in life I used to hug her,
Now she's dead I draw the line. [Chorus]

In my dreams she still doth haunt me,
Robed in garments soaked with brine,
Though in life I used to hug her,
Now she's dead I draw the line. [Chorus]

Listen fellers, head the warning
Of this tragic tale of mine,
Artificial respiration
Could have saved my Clementine. [Chorus]

How I missed her, how I missed her,
How I missed my Clementine,
Till I kissed her little sister,
And forgot my Clementine. [Chorus]

Or how about this one? Did you know it's about the plague?

http://www.zelo.com/FAMILY/NURSERY/ringroses.asp
Ring-a-ring o' roses,
A pocket full of posies,
Achoo!, Achoo!
We all fall down.


Don't even get me started on Little Bunny Foo Foo... all that head bopping and goon creating.

Disgraceful, I tell you! Do we pay NO attention to what we're teaching our children?

I'm a retro girl...

It's true. I'm a bit behind the times. I still tend to hum Rick Springfield under my breath far more often than I do ... well... whoever is popular now.

I adopted the grunge look along with everyone else in the early 90's... and I've steadfastly stuck with it to the point that my neice wants to 'report me' to What-Not-To-Wear and Kendra has threatened to burn all my black v-neck t-shirts.

But ya know... I'm 34 years old. I really should be updating something... somewhere... yes? I realized the other day that I still have a Rollins Band t-shirt that I wear pretty often. And I think of it as an 'older' shirt. It's 17 years old! The SHIRT is the same age I was when I bought it!!!!! F*ck.

And my favorite jeans? I was lamenting the other day about the quality of them because they're falling apart. But ya know what? I bought them in 1994. They SHOULD be rags.

But honestly... can any of you picture me in anything except what I've been wearing every day since 1991? Really?

Someone needs to take me shopping. Any volunteers?

Help?

I don't 'get' the games that everyone plays on their PCs... WoW and Evercrack? I have Frogger on my PS2 and that makes me happy.

So someone explain to me why I am obsessed w/the Sims. I really thought that the people going so crazy over it when it came out, and soooo anticipating Sims2 were slightly dim. Barbie dolls for grownups, right?

But holy cow. I d/l the original off Limewire the other night and I play until I crash. I *gasp* found myself talking about the characters as if they had personalities! I have become a crazy person.

I'm buying Sims2 tonight for the playstation. Someone shoot me.

I'd like to thank the Academy...

Ok, not really. But this is interesting and so I'm sharing it.

http://www.rd.com/content/the-new-science-of-being-thankful/

What if, instead of wallowing in our misery, we all chose to focus on being valued by a dear friend, for example, or the memory of a colleague’s face when she receives a surprise birthday cake at work, or the smooth ride we’ve had to work in the past week? As science is now proving, feeling grateful can actually make us healthier, literally. Practicing gratitude, acknowledging the blessings in our lives and making it a point to recognize the good things can change us positively. We’ll sleep better and exercise more. We’ll feel more optimistic. We’ll be more alert and active. And if we do this over a period of time, we’ll realize that we’re making progress toward our life goals.

I like this idea. And for the past couple of years, since my life essentially melted down and I had to claw my way back up, I've been making a concerted effort to be thankful for the little things rather than worried about the OTHER little things. And so far it's working.

I'm happier. I'm more centered. I'm a better mom. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I'm noticing more and more that I don't even notice the small stuff - can you notice that you're not noticing? Well, I have.

Other people are noticing too... I was called happy and social the other day. ME! No kidding. Craziness.

So yeah... being thankful, even if it's for a stunningly gorgeous moon rising over the horizon, or the sunrise greeting you when you open your front door... thankfulness tends to create things to be thankful for.

Put your head down and keep moving...

That's been my philosophy since Stupidhead lost his mind and decided that his calling was making my life hell. Sometimes, like today, I feel like I just can't keep moving forward anymore. Not because of any huge dramatic THING but just because.

But, of course, I can't. Because I'm a mom - and a single one at that - and Moms just don't get to stop.

And then I hear about these people... the Raramuri, or Tarahumara - the running people. Apparently, this smallish population of native mexican people make running a way of life. They practice persistence hunting... running for up to 160km (100 miles to you n me) without stopping. That's right. They will RUN FOR 100 MILES without stopping to kvetch about their sore footsies.

And why on earth would they do this insane thing? Because eventually their prey gets tired and they can get close enough to kill it with their rudimentary weapons - sticks and stones.

There's inspiration to be found there somewhere... now I just wonder if I'm the Indian or the deer... ;)

Freak accidents

This is a sad blog, so feel free to skip it.

As some of you already know, I had to have Orca put down on Tuesday night. She was playing in the pasture with another horse and took a kick that was at just the right angle... just the right amount of force... just the right amount of torsion as she turned away... and her leg was broken. Just like that. A blink. A kick. A horse just being a horse, and she's gone.

I got there right after the vet, and he didn't even need to show me the x-rays. Her leg wasn't right and anyone familiar with how the leg between the stifle joint and hock should be shaped would have known that the bone was broken.

She was in the prime of her life. An athlete like no horse I've ever known. That stupid horse would do laps of the pasture... just running. Not kicking up her heels, not playing, just ... running for the sheer pleasure of the wind in her mane. I loved to watch her almost more than I loved to ride her.

It's unfair and I'm going to rail against god a bit until I'm done being angry about it, but I have to be thankful for a couple of things too...

Orca was my dream horse. She was the horse that I dreamt of as a girl when I was riding all those scrubby ponies and the horses no one else could ride and begging for riding time from friends with horses and cleaning stalls for the opportunity to try not to get killed on some unbroke psychopath. All that time, I had this Thoroughbred that lived in my head. She was going to be 16 hands tall, and LOVE to jump. I wouldn't have to teach her how, because she'd just know how to pick spots and sail over fences. She'd have a star on her forehead and one sock - a small one, not too flashy. And she'd love me and no one else. No one else would even want to ride her - but she would come to me when I called her and nuzzle me and do anything I asked.

And she came true. Not everyone gets that lucky, yanno?

And I have to be thankful that my prayers weren't answered this time. The whole time I was driving up to the farm, I was making promises to god. Promising that I wasn't going to be greedy. That I would accept lame for life as long as I didn't have to choose death. I promised that if all she was ever suitable for was a pasture ornament, I'd accept that.

And that was selfish. Because you can't take a thoroughbred - or even a Paint who's only 90% thoroughbred - and punish them like that. You can't take a marathon runner and tell them to be happy that they can no longer walk. You just can't.

So I'm thankful that god knew that none of us really wanted to do that to Orca and took the decision out of my hands by making it a break that couldn't be fixed.

I'll miss her more than I can fathom. I will never replace her. She was my first love.

Bits and Pieces

I am a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Mom. Really. I completely and totally forgot that last night was Wild's back to school night. It's no excuse that I'd had a REALLY busy and REALLY stressful day, or that I don't have the girls on Thursday nights and so had no one to remind me. I forgot. Didn't go. Passed up the chance to meet all of her teachers. I suck.

Had a second interview yesterday for a purchasing position. They offered me the job, and while the salary offered is well withing the average range for that type of position, it's $5000 less/year than I was making at my other job. Sort of. Anyway, I accepted it because the $12/hour that they're offering for 90 days with a raise after that, is more than the $8.75/hour that unemployment pays, and I do have kids to feed.

I have a second interview scheduled with another company on Tuesday. Funnily enough, I REALLY want this job and part of the reason I accepted teh other one is because I hadn't heard back from these people and had lost hope that I would. So, I informed them that I was going to start work with another company on Tuesday but that I was VERY interested in interviewing for the position and asked if they could schedule me an evening interview. They were VERY accomodating and I have an interview with them on Tuesday at 5. I'm one of two candidates they've narrowed it down to.

The average salary for this position in KC is $31,000 MORE PER YEAR than the position I just accepted. That's right. More than TWICE what the job I accepted pays. Only slightly less than 2X what my last job paid. It's like a Cinderella story. Even if they didn't come anywhere near that amount, they already know what I made at my last job, and have already said "This position would represent a significant increase over your last position."

Cross your fingers. But regardless of what happens, at least I get to get up and go to work on Tuesday.

Have to go renew my tags today. Yup. I waited until the last day of the month to do-so. Aren't I BRILLIANT? Thankfully, I'm going to renew them in the next county over since that's where I owe property taxes and they have to be paid before I can renew, and that county only has 35,000 total residents. They can't ALL have tags that expire in August, right?

Ya know my horses that come when called? That just can't get to you fast enough and practically put their own halters on for you? They were supposed to get their toenails trimmed the other day. Apparently neither one of them would let anyone get close to them. Now, granted, I have NEVER had a person other than myself or Robbin attempt to catch my horses for me, but I have always just assumed that they would walk up to anyone to be caught since they come RUNNING hell bent for leather up to me. Apparently I was wrong. No pedicures for them.

I filed a contempt motion against Stupidhead on Monday. It was totally justified, and very well-founded and well-organized. But I'm still nervous as hell about it. The shit is going ot hit the proverbial fan when he gets served. And there's a very large, albeit chickenshit, part of me that wants to just take it all back. Go to the courthouse and tell the judge to forget he ever saw it. I hate that part of me.

Truth in advertising...

So... around Christmas-time, I was dogless and kind of sad about it, and promised the kids that IF I found a terrier cross that would stay small, that was a boy, and that was FREE, that I'd get it. I knew that it was unlikely to happen, as it's not like we happen upon free dogs every day, right?

Of course, that very weekend, we were down at the lake visiting Eumie. And we went to Wal-Mart and there was a woman in the parking lot with a laundry basket full of the cutest puppies EVER.

And, of course, there was a sign on the basket that said "FREE TERRIER CROSS PUPPIES". And, of course, my kids can read. AND (because god hates me) there was one boy left.

I talked to the lady. She said that they were terrier cross puppies, that their parents were both small, blah blah bla.

Wanna see my cute LITTLE 9 month old terrier cross? Huh? Doya?



Yes, THIS is the dog that probably wouldn't ever weigh more than 20 pounds. Who, between the ages of 4 months and 6 months gained 15 pounds...



Part of the reason I wanted a terrier cross was the size. But the other part was their tendency to not shed. I've had terriers. I've never had one that left parts of himself all over the house.

This dog is apparently part collie because he's 'blowing' his coat. He's dropping HUGE clumps of hair every where he goes. Everywhere. There's a DRIFT of hair near his crate every morning. There is hair all over the back patio where he hangs out all day.

You can't shave them because their undercoat actually insulates them against the heat and they tend to get too hot if you clip them (sort of counter-intuitive, huh?)... so I bought a rake for removing loose undercoat. And I spent 10 minutes grooming him a bit ago.

10 minutes.

1) You CAN'T EVEN TELL that I brushed him.
2) I removed an entire Wal-Mart bag of hair from him.

I could weave a coat for the terrier mix I thought I was getting.

It's a good thing he's cute.

It's a SCAM I tell ya!

A clever one though... more about that in a bit.

Sam was home with me today. I've been taking him to the sitter on Wed and Thurs even though I'm not working so we don't lose his spot and so I can get stuff done w/out chasing him around the house. About 30 minutes after I dropped him off this morning, Amanda called and asked me to come get him... her mother died this morning. I feel SO bad for her and there's nothing I can do. It made me think about the mortality of my own parents though... Mom's only 10 years younger than her mother was when she died... and not living the healthiest of lifestyles either. I know that 60 is the new 40, but it's scary for me.

When Sam woke up from his nap today, my first indication that he was awake was *knock knock knock* on his bedroom door followed by "Mo-o-o-om!" (Thanks Madison) So, I went in there to get him up. I've been redoing the kids' room while the girls are gone, and I was eager to get started again... but... Sam can now reach the door from his crib. And apparently the boy knows how to work the lock. WHY is there a lock on my kids' bedroom door?!?!

While I was picking the lock, he keeps knocking on the door - and he keeps saying Mo-o-o-om! And then... giggling MADLY. Like a crazy person. He was laughing so hard while I was picking the lock that I thought he was going to pass out. He's STILL amused by it. I was on the phone with Kendra, telling her about it, and the boy started laughing. Brat.

Went to see the Gin Blossoms with Doug this weekend. I LURVED them in college. And ya know what? They're just as good now as they were then... and I'm way less stoned now. One Lone Car opened for them... also a good band. Not bad for a free concert at Crown Center. Beats Air Supply, anyway.

The kids' bedroom... I hung shelves yesterday - just the wire type that are for closet organizers, but they look pretty good. Then, I hung milk crates from the bottom of one for more storage space, and from the bottom of the other one, I hung one of those sweater storage things that's basically fabric shelves. I managed to get everything Sam shouldn't touch either out of the room or up and out of reach. I rearranged the furniture to give them more floor space, and picked up a futon mattress tonight from a woman who posts on freecycle. Tomorrow, Madison's old mattress goes away. I hung new curtains too (THANK YOU AMY) ... they're denim and the tabs at the top are strips of denim with overall closures. They're SO perfect. Love them. The kids will too. Their room looks awesome and is a good blend of toddler/little kid/tween... not everyone could make that work, yanno.

And now, the scam. There was an ad on craigslist for a bookkeeper - the pay was outrageous at $1500/week, but I figured what the hell, right? So I sent my resume and a cover letter... today, I got an email reply. It's an 'investment' company in Germany who is looking for people to 'process paypal payments'. In exchange, you get to keep 5% of every dollar you process. Crap, right? Have the Nigerians moved?

I had an interview yesterday for a web content editor position. It would be THE perfect job... telecommuting, $20/hour... awesome.

Did you know people are willing to pay $100-$150/hour for people to clean their houses topless? I don't know a single woman who would pay a man to just stand around looking good... we want our men to be productive... I'll pay you to change my oil, clean my gutters, shovel my walk, whatever (have you ever noticed how euphemistic those all sound?) and I don't even care if you're hot. But pay you to stand around looking pretty with your skin all hanging out and stuff? No. Boyz are weird.

Words of wisdom

Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.
George Eliot

My quote of the day... and it's so very true. It's why Walt won't get out of my ass, it's why his wife wants to take my kids from me... hell, it's why Tom logs into myspace every few days, I'm sure.

I really don't know what it is about me that makes people either love or hate me. There's never indifference - not since high school, anyway - maybe I used all of the indifference up then?

I know I'm not unique... but I often wonder why I inspire such strong reactions in others, when I'm so not prone to strong reactions myself.

Tonight was poker night. I was 4th, which means I didn't win any cash, but I got points - I'm in 6th place! Yeah, you have no idea how great that is, but it's awesome for someone who's prone to playing A 2 off-suit.

Had a job interview today. It's for a company that Doug actually used to be the HR manager for. It would actually be a pretty cool job that would sort of gather up all of the things I've done in other positions and roll them together nicely. And, it's 10 minutes from home... maybe 15, but still pretty cool after commuting over an hour every day for years. Benefits are good too. And the office is BEAUTIFUL. Seriously, this has never happened before, but I walked into a job interview with STRANGERS totally relaxed because it was impossible to get stressed out in their 'atrium'. ME, not puking before meeting new people. Wouldn't it be cool if I totally kicked this anxiety thing?

Stuff n junk

So, I'm supposed to wear this stupid (and by that, I mean stoopid) splint on my hand for the next month. Other than its incredible uber attractiveness, the thing is HOT and it's making my hand smell bad. I take it off a lot because it bugs the hell out of me to wear it, and it STINKS. How do people survive casts? I'd hack off my arm. So yeah, I'm not making it a whole month, I just know it.

The girls are with their father - or rather, their step-mother - for the next 2 weeks. Part of me hopes, quite sincerely, that they're having a wonderful time. But there's another part of me... a slightly evil part... that hopes they're miserable and counting the days to come home. I miss the hell out of them already.

I've been doing the organizing that never gets done when I have the kids here, and I've filled a large rubbermaid tub with baby toys that Twain has outgrown... I'm giving those to a woman I play poker with on Thursday. I also managed to file 2 tubs with clothes that don't fit the girls or that I can't stand to look at anymore. I'll send those to Jenn for her Unruly one. The sad part? Their closet is still so full that I can barely fit everything in it. They have more clothes than any 5 children need... and I don't shop. What the hell happened?

Twain is changing Every. Day. I swear, when he wakes up from naps, he's bigger and smarter. He's been talking up a storm too - only not so much in English. But man, the boy has not been silent at all the past couple days. There's a toddler bed in my living room, just waiting for me to trust the boy enough to put him in it and ditch the crib. Part of me can't wait... but I don't trust him yet... and I don't trust the girls to keep their room clean. They've been doing ok... but not good enough yet. In the mean time, it sits in the livingroom like the biggest, bluest, racer carest toy box ever. He loves it.

No news in the job market. At least, no real news. I'm not discouraged yet... but I've run out of jobs to apply for on careerbuilder, monster, flipdog, sologig and manufacturinggigs... so I'm searching craigslist. I've sent resumes to 2 postings - one for a web content editor position that pays $20/hour and is a telecommuting position which would be kick ass. The other is an Office Manager position that pays... $1500/week. I'm not likely AT. ALL. to get either one, but someday by boredom has to pay off, right?

I've been working on Doug's website www.kcclassiccars.com ... I'm pretty happy with the changes I've made to it - it looks a LOT better than it did. Tomorrow, I'm going to start work on a print ad and tri-fold brochure for him. It's fun and pays... not a bad combo.

Something weird... Asshat has paid child support EVERY. SINGLE. FRIDAY since December. It's been like clockwork - $80.72 for the longest time and then recently it's been $100 every Friday... but no payment this week. What's up with that? We're not talking dire straits or anything like that (though money for nothin would be nice)... but I don't like when things change like that. I ENJOY predictability. I really do.

Weekend fun...

Unruly not quite caught in the cargo net that was stapled to the ground.














Wild negotiating the rope version of the obstacle course...














Friends and neighbors... when you fall of this and land on your hand, it will most likely break. At least, mine did.













My team (the bastages) losing at tug-o-war after they voted my injured self off.
















In other news, my ex called child services on me. Apparently I am an internet porn addict who leaves her kids alone all night long while she goes out drinking with her boyfriend. Like THAT's believable.

Family Fun...

Amy's pics of the family picnic this summer...

My little man is a rockstar!













My Sweet Babboo...













My cousin Jesus...





























Jones girls at play...

Stolen Quizzes...

From Jenn's blog...

I am also Bert. Yay me.

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Turning tides and blessings in disguise...

So, I lost my job on Friday. "Unsatisfactory work performance" ... uh-huh. Totally not true, as far as I know, but since it's an 'at will' state, it's not like they have to give me a reason at all, right? I cried for awhile, and woe-is-me'd for awhile, and then got down to the business of revamping my resume and sending it out. By close of business on Friday, I had emailed or faxed 8 resumes. Not too bad for a day's work, huh?

Saturday, Doug and Sammy and I drove out to Doug's mom's house for a family shin-dig. I love his family... all of 'em. They're funny and smart and decent parents and caring and not afraid to be affectionate with each other... it's a good family.

Monday, while driving back, I got a phone call from a recruiter who found my resume on careerbuilder and wanted to set up an interview for Tuesday. Within a few hours, I'd gotten another call from a different recruiter who also wanted to set up an interview. Went to both of those today, and they both went really well. The bonus is that both jobs pay about $15,000 more per year than I'm making now. Wouldn't that be awesome? It would seriously change my life.

My hopes aren't really UP, but they're not down either. I'm trying to be supremely confident that I will be employed again before my straits become dire.

Recycling is good...

We had the family thing at mom's this weekend. We pulled it off (YAY) with nary a hitch... except the people who showed up 2 hours late - weirdos

The food was great, the company was great, it was all ... great :-p.

Mom walked in on Doug and I... ya know... I wonder if she was as embarrassed as we were.

Here's the recycling part... copied from my myspace...

Beef Jerky and Cotton Candy

No, this is not a blog about a day at the county fair... though it would have been less disturbing if it was.

I was out and about the other day, location unimportant... and I saw this magnificent spectacle. I saw a woman who appeared to be made ENTIRELY of beef jerky and cotton candy. It was simply amazing... so, let me splain.

This woman must have been 70 years old. She had that deep dark tan that you usually only see in ... well... nowhere except embedded in the flesh of George Hamilton, really. And her skin was the texture of old, unoiled leather - in appearance anyway, I did NOT touch. Add to that the fact that she has hair so white blonde that Warhol would have traded his wig in for it, and that said hair was ENORMOUS and barely contained by the day-glo green scrunchie that was holding it up off her neck, and you can begin to see what I'm talking about here. But that, folks, was not all - though it's certainly enough...

She was skinny. And I don't mean thin or even waifish. I mean knobby knees, pointy elbows, Auschwitz skinny. Her ensemble consisted of black high heeled strappy sandals, day-glo green bobby socks (though, sans poofball, which was a little disappointing), a miniskirt, the hem of which could not have been more than 4 inches below her cooter, and a day-glo green tank top with little ... wings ... on it that moved every time she did. A tantalizing package, to be sure. Especially when you remember that she was old... with the elasticity of flesh of a 70 year old. Crepey (not creepy, though it was that too). And then... she turned so she was profile to me, and I noticed the piece de resistance... the fake eyelashes that strongly resembled trantulas precariously dangling from her lids.

Work of art people, seriously.

So, I'm a terrible blogger

Or so I've been told fairly recently. So I shall endeavor to be better about it. Really.

This weekend was SO relaxing for some reason. We were busy, as it seems we always are... but still... it seems like Friday was forever ago and I'm feeling very loose today. Friday afternoon, my friend Rachel picked Sam up and took him for the weekend, and the girls and I went with Doug to his softball game. The girls and I played catch for awhile, and Madison played a 'retarded cheerleader' which was terribly amusing if something Kendra would smack her with a mackerel for.

Saturday, I did laundry and then took Madison to a bday party at the YMCA and took Cady home to go swimming with her friend Kelsey. After taking the two of them to DQ, Kelsey's mom arrived and offered to let Cady spend the night. YAY. So we made arrangements to meet up later at a car show in Dearborn and I headed off to get Madison. When I got there, her friend BJ's mom said "Why don't we just keep her for the night?" and they followed me back to my place to get her clothes and off they went. Doug and I decided not to go to the car show, so I took Cady up to meet Kelsey and Doug and I went to Genghis Khan for dinner and went to see Knocked Up.

Genghis Khan is a mongolian bbq joint and I LOVE it, but it's less than kid-friendly, so I rarely get to go. It was so nice to sit with Doug and talk - or not - and have some food and a beer or two... and to see a movie that's not animated???? Heaven. Really.

Today, we picked Cady up and took her out to lunch, just the three of us, which was fun. Then we picked up Madison and drove around for awhile before coming home to pack up the girls' stuff so they could spend the week at Aunt Sarah's house. Sammy came home, and Doug went to play softball while I ran the kids to Sarah's house.

Sarah just bought her house recently, and this is the first time I've seen it. It's really a cute house and she's been painting the inside. She's doing a lot with color and it looks really great. MUCH better than her last place, and much more HERS. Very nice to see her settled.

And... for a girlie moment... I've been thinking the last week how lucky I am to have Doug. Just random things throughout the day make me think "Man, I love him" or "Damn, I really am the luckiest girl ever"... and it's so nice. Last weekend, with it being just him and I, was so very nice. And this weekend, while we were alone a lot, we were also more parental - running kids here and there, trying to keep up with changing plans, etc... and he just rolls with it and keeps me centered... and you all KNOW that's not an easy thing to do. He refuses to let me stress about things... and again... you know that's no small task.

He's my sweet babboo... And I want to come home to him for a long, long, LONG time.

Shameless plugs and other things

So... I've discovered freecycle.org. This is, quite possibly, the coolest thing ever. It's a nationwide yahoo group that's divided up into towns or counties or whatever - communities. And it's all about giving things away or getting things for free. I put up a post yesterday for misc. girls toys and dress-up clothes, and I got... 100 RESPONSES! That's right, 100 people want the crap that I would normally throw away. Awesome, huh?

I signed up for the Leavenworth one, the KC one, and the Manhattan one. It's going to be my new favorite thing for awhile.

The pool is open at the complex. The kids and I went down there about 1 yesterday and spent an hour or so. There was NO ONE else there. So it was very nice.

Last night, Doug and I went to a cruise and hung out with his friend Dave. The girls stayed home alone (Hannah, don't tell Gramma) and were awesome. They didn't call every two seconds, they didn't trash the house, there was no tattling when I got home. They were suitably rewarded w/food from DQ and then went to bed with no complaints at all so that Doug and I could watch a movie. VERRA NICE.

I'm off to do laundry. Fun Fun.

So very tired.

So, we went camping this weekend. Me and Doug and all three munchkins. I was nervous about things going crappily, and being blamed for any number of things that could go wrong. Not because I really think Doug is like that, but because it's what I'm used to.

We got out of town late because i read my court order wrong and couldn't pick up the girls til 6 instead of 5.

Cady peed her pants on the way down there - just didn't quite make it to the toilet because she didn't tell anyone she needed to pee until it was too late to get to an exit. So... very closely monitored liquid intake for her after that.

We got to the site and set up everything in the dark. Madison was VERY helpful even though it was 1130. She's a champ.

Middle of the night, mine and Doug's mattress goes kaput. So, I pulled a 'bad mommy!' and moved the girls off of theirs and we slept on it the rest of the night.

We went to Target in the morning, bought a new air mattress, and went back to the campsite. I cleaned up the tent and Doug loaded up the car for a trip to the beach and cook-out/picnic while we were there.

Finally made it over to the beach, and got the kids out of the car and it started pouring. Pouring, I tell you. Doug barely got the top up on the convertible fast enough to keep it dry.

We waited that one out.

Got in the water - Twain, the boy who will NOT be bathed without screaming bloody murder LOVES the lake apparently. So that was good. And then... it started pouring again. We ran for the shelter house and gave up. Back to the campsite.

Turns out, it stays a LOT dryer in the tent if you put the rainfly on it. But, of course, I didn't. Everything inside was soaked. Everything that is, except our clothes, thank goodness. So... I put up the clothesline, dragged out the mattresses, and waited for things to dry. Oh. And put the fly on the tent.

Couple of hours later, we went back to the beach and the kids played in the water for an hour or so. That was nice. Doug and I sat on the beach reading and talking while the kids splashed and played.

When we got back, I cleaned up the tent again and Doug went after firewood. That mission was accomplished quite nicely and we started the fire up. I made meatloaf stuffed vidalias in the coals and potatoes/onions on top the fire. FABULOUS food. Seriously. The onions didn't even taste like onions anymore - they were just sweet and yummy.

The food was done cooking about the time it started raining again. Yay. So we sat in the tent and I read and Madison read and Cady tried to sleep and Sammy slept and Doug and I ate dinner.

The tent leaks. Not badly, but still. It's more that the rain fly leaks. So it just drips into the tent. Constantly. Drips add up. By morning, Madison was sleeping in a puddle and Cady was sleeping with Doug and I.

Madison was also sleeping on a flat mattress. So apparently the kids need a new mattress now too. Fahbulous.

We left early. LOL Big surprise, huh?

On the way home, we toured the cave at the state park. It was AWESOME. You have to carry your own light because there's no electricity in the cave. Just gorgeous. Really. Almost made up for getting rained on AGAIN while hiking around waiting for the tour to start. Almost. Heh.

But the point of all of this isn't that it was a miserable weekend, because honestly, it wasn't. It was wetter than I'd like. And full of mishaps. But it was a nice weekend. Doug is a GREAT sport. He picked on me a bit, but it was good natured and he didn't blame me for any of it. Just took it in stride and helped me get things done and make things ok.

I love that man. I really do.

The kids had a nearly sugar free weekend - the only sugar consumed was a cookie at subway on the way down there and marshmallows Sat night. And there wasn't ONE SINGLE melt-down. Not one. They listened pretty well, they got along, they didn't get all hyper and crazy. It was wonderful. Sure doesn't make me want to add sugar back into their diets anytime soon. Not. At. All.

Things are becoming clear to me...

My kids are out of school as of Thursday and I was looking over their report cards last night. A's and B's of course and they both need to work on organizational skills and using time wisely. No great surprise there, as their mother is the queen of procrastinate and then hurry and get it done... though I've gotten better about that lately, and I totally blame my mom for it.

See, growing up, mom never made us clean our rooms until they were making her so crazy she'd flip out and scream at us to DO IT NOW OR ELSE! Actually, she was like that with all behavior. And so, we (and by we, I mean I) grew up thinking that was the way it was. You put things off until they can't be put off any longer, and then you bust ass to get 'em done. Nevermind the amount of stress that induces.

And yet... I find myself falling into that same pattern with the girls. So I'm making a concerted effort to stop it. We've instituted a couple of things that I sincerely hope we can keep up with until they're habits.

1. 15 minutes of working in their bedroom every night. The goal isn't a clean room, it's developing the habit of picking things up and putting them away. I don't care if I go in there at the end of 15 and it's not clean... as long as they've been actively working in there for 15 minutes. Yes, eventually the room will be clean and they won't be able to spend 15 minutes working, but in the mean time, they're developing a good habit.

2. I'll spend the same 15 minutes every night working on a room in the house. Doesn't matter which room and doesn't matter if I get it completely clean in that 15 mintues.

3. I'll also make sure one room in the house is always clean. This week, that room is going to be the kitchen. It will be CLEAN every night before I start my 15 minutes in a different room. That way, I always have a room I can look at and remind myself that it's really possible :-p

So, we'll see how it goes. Next month, I'm starting the girls' summer reading program. I still need to get the list of books together. But once I have it ready to go, they'll each have to spend 15 minutes every evening reading, and then tell me about what they read. Study habits, ya know?

Oh... and speaking of studying, I remembered last night that I was supposed to pay tuition on Thursday and didn't. So, I logged onto the school's website and had been dropped from my classes. Fairly annoying, right? But then when I went to re-enroll, I saw that there was an opening in the political science class I wanted to take, but which was full earlier. So YAY I enrolled in it, paid my tuition and was done.

Next stop was the campus bookstore website. The textbook that's required is $65 used. It pisses me off enough that I have to pay $500 for a summer class... I shouldn't also have to pay $65 for a USED BOOK. So, I copied the ISBN# and headed over to Amazon where I found the book in 'like new' condition for $2.99. It should ship Monday. It's like a garage sale, only rewarding and stuff.

So, as of July I will be a student again. I really am too old for this shit.

In other news, we're going here today... there's a car show in conjunction with this festival and Doug's entering the purple convertible. Then, we're off to Fuddruckers (can you say billion calorie burgers????) for a 'Cruise night'.

Saying no and outside voices

I have a problem. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, it's a minor problem but a problem nonetheless.

I can't say no. Well... I CAN but it causes me great discomfort. Some dude just knocked on my door. And... well... I can't NOT answer it no matter how badly I want to ignore it.

He's supposedly from a local garage and he's selling this coupon thing for 'only' $50 that basically amounts to a free state inspection (normally $15 or so) and 2 free oil filters and a couple of preventative maintenance inspections. Funnily, the 'free' oil filters are estimated at $20 each... I buy them for $2.28 at Wal-Mart and Doug changes my oil - total cost - $13 or so. And I get to not have to sit in a shop waiting for everything to be completed.

Anyway, I can't just say "Dude, it's a scam and I'm not doing it." I have to make up a plausible excuse like "It's not payday and I'm broke" or "Sounds good, but I need to think about it" or "I don't have a check book"

Bleh. I need to be more assertive, I know, but man... I hate the prospect of hurting people's feelings. Stupid me.

Happy Mother's Day!

I read this story on a message board that I post on quite a bit, and found it so hilarious, I felt it needed shared...

We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.

And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt

Cable is bad for me.

I need to figure out how to turn off all of the true-crime crap and MSNBCs damn documentaries so I can actually go to sleep at a reasonable hour. This whole getting to work on time thing is going to become an issue again if I'm not careful, and it's all because I suck at imposing a bedtime upon myself. Stupid head I am.

Asshat paid CS on Friday, like he has every Friday since the first week in December. Only he's paid 80.72 until this Friday. This week, he paid 100.00. What's up with that? I'm not complaining, but I find that anything out of the norm, with regards to him, makes me nervous.

We're trying to make Memorial Weekend plans. We're not going to St Louis, which means we're probably camping since Chicago is out. Hopefully, we can make reservations somewhere not too far away so we don't have to worry about finding a spot.

The kids were all really good tonight. I can't help but think they'd be better if they didn't have the mid-week swaps going on, but maybe I'm just thinking that because I'm still pissed at stupidhead. I just dunno.

Yes, I always carry this much shit in my bag...

Because you never know when you may have to jam. Totally appropriate movie quote for all of the crap I added to this page today. I'm a junkie.

Breakfast Club was on this weekend. You'd probably be hard pressed to NOT see it on a lazy Saturday afternoon when the school year is ending, but man I love that movie... even when it's on TBS and all the 'bad' words are silenced. Which makes lines like "Eat shit" interesting. Suddenly, Ally Sheedy is just telling Emilio Estevez to EAT! Heh.

Things to think about -

When the woman at WalMart holds up the cute puppy and says "He's a terrier mix!"... don't believe her. In fact, kick her in the shins and run like hell. I believed her. I have, as near as I can figure, a german shepard sheltie golden retriever cross. Really. Not a drop of terrier DNA in that dog. Good thing he's a good dog, because he's a billion times bigger than planned.

When Madison is in college, Sam will be in second grade. Total HOLY CRAP moment when you figure that one out.

Cady told me tonight that her bottle of water tasted like dog drool with dryer lint in it. Which begs the eternal "How do you KNOW that!!??" question. But I didn't ask because I don't want to know.

Itchy feet and other afflictions of gypsy souls

I've always felt this intractable need to move... keep moving forward, move to a new house, move the furniture, drive just to be moving, get on my horse and go go go go go... and yet... I honestly haven't actually GONE anywhere.

Lately though... I've been sedentary. Not physically, really, but spiritually. Yeah yeah, I'm pulling a Yoda today. But seriously. I have no desire to move, no desire to keep going as if the hounds have been released from Hades and will get me if I don't keep moving.

I am at peace. And at 33 years old and a mother of 3 with a 10 year marriage and a nasty divorce and nastier custody battle behind me, and having lived a whole lot of my life with fear a constant companion... it may be a first.

I'm happy. I feel good. I'm relaxed. I SLEEP at night, deeply and without dreams. I smile more often than not, and laugh with my children for no reason at all. I spent an hour last night dancing with my 15 month old. Yeah, I can't dance, but the cool thing is... he doesn't know that. He just smiled and laughed and wiggled his diaper-clad booty til he fell down. And then he laughed some more when I fell next to him.

Today, I planted flowers and tomato plants at D'Man's house. Nothing fancy, petunias and pansies and cosmos and geraniums, but my hands are dirty and the sun was hot on my skin. The boy ate dandelions while I got muddy. Here's hoping he's not allergic!